How to Own your Narrative.
By Olivia Foskett
We all understand the power of storytelling.
Stories are how we learn as children, a tool many of us use at work and to communicate meaningfully with others, and can be instrumental in finding and understanding our identity as well as making key choices.
After all, what is your life but a story?
Whatever kind of story you are living (because that should be as unique as you are) the most important thing is that you are the one writing it.
Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Multiple things can get in the way of owning our own narratives, such as other people’s influence, or even uncertainty within ourselves. If you allow others, their expectations and pressure to get in your way, throw you off course, or if you simply drift along wherever the wind takes you without actively choosing the path that’s right for you, you’re at risk of letting go of the ownership of your own narrative.
American lawyer, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins describes life as a journey in a car…
“I think about life as one long-a** road trip.
“Right now at this moment in life you are at a particular mile marker. You will not be here forever.
“What I want you to know is, for the mile markers 0 to 21, you were in somebody else’s car, and someone else was driving. You didn’t have a choice about it typically.
“I’m talking about your parents: You were born into the family you were born in, under the circumstances that you grew up in. You faced whatever you faced. Somebody else was in control, largely, of where you went, what you did, when you did it and the speed at which it went…
“And then all of a sudden when you graduate from college, you find yourself on the side of the road.
“And here’s the cool thing: Are you going to be a passenger, or are you going to be a driver in your life?”
When we choose that whatever journey we embark on, we’re going to be the driver, we claim control of our narrative. But to be the driver you’ve got to know where you’re going and how to get there.
Here are some tips on being an effective driver of your life:
Have objectives and goals.
This is the end destination. Ironically, you can’t begin without it.
By choosing a goal, whether that be a career, financial milestone, personal lifestyle, or anything that is meaningful to you, you have something to shoot for. Not only does this help you get going in the right direction, if you choose something that is authentic and inspiring for you, it will give you the motivation you need to keep going. Even if that big goal changes (because that’s also okay) and you’ve got to change direction, the most important thing is that you got moving in the first place, because with every ‘mile marker’ we learn more about ourselves and how to navigate life. We learn nothing by sitting still.
Practice consistency.
Deciding on your life goal, knowing it inside out and visualising it clearly is step one.
Unfortunately, dreams are nothing without actions. What’s more, those actions need to be consistent.
This means that to own your own narrative, you need to write a word of it every day. It won’t always be leaps and bounds, but it helps you to stay focused and make steady progress. When we stop moving forward, we’re at risk of being pushed and pulled in other directions.
They say the best and only practise for writers is simply to write every day. Apply that advice to the narrative of your life.
Live and breathe your values, both personal and professional.
What’s the key element to every story which we’ve forgotten to mention?
Character.
You’re the main character of your narrative. We mean this without cliché.
You also get to decide who that character is, how they act and how others perceive them. By cultivating clear values, and then practising them every day, you show those around you exactly who you are, and the rest of your story then falls into place around that central character, you. Start there.